All Smiles

There is something about Sundays. Start early by going to church with family and any activity that follows seems effortless, productive and calm. Yesterday, I found myself happily nestled on a sunny Sunday... again. Though I was focused on my readings about the life of Ninoy, I am comforted by the company of my two children and my adorable, wide-eyed, black lab. It is on these moments that I appreciate being away from the city. A good book to enjoy, an old cartoon movie to watch for the nth time, and afternoon naps are so precious that once threatened by an invitation trip to the mall in Manila can all of a sudden win over against the charm of our provincial living. Don't get me wrong, I still love and will always look forward to taking trips to the shopping malls. But these days, being at home on weekends is something I wait for the whole week. Sunday is my day of rest. A day to be still and just enjoy the calmness. This indeed gave me smiles that prepared me for the week ahead.

writer mama: 1M Guilt Free

writer mama: 1M Guilt Free: 1 M   Guilt Free           I was faced with a question posted by Ms. Vicky Sanchez Mandi in the JuanFamily Facebook Account and t...

1M Guilt Free

1M

 Guilt Free

          I was faced with a question posted by Ms. Vicky Sanchez Mandi in the JuanFamily Facebook Account and the overeager Basco parent in me wanted to participate.  “What will I do if I win 1M?”  Maybe for some, it was just a random post question but for me at that time, it was mind-boggling.  As I went through my usual day to day routine at home, I kept thinking over and over about how I wanted to spend my 1M. More than the desire and the treat of hopefully being picked and be featured in the DBTI Newsletter, I was somehow getting carried away.

          As a dutiful wife, mother and member of my community, my answer would read something like this…” I would give it to my husband to use it as additional capital for our sugarcane business, save for our children’s education, spend for our long overdue house repairs, contribute to our parish church, and buy something modest for myself.”  But since it was a hypothetical question, something about my answer made me cringed from the inside because I wanted to answer differently…without feeling guilty. 

          Every mother (and father) would automatically have a mental list of priorities that needs to be considered for the allocation of the 1M.  But just for this moment, allow me to indulge into thinking that I can spend my 1M guilt free.  Here are some of the things that came into my mind...

1.     Shop for clothes

     Shop for myself without having the nudge to purchase first my kids’ undergarments. Mothers tend to put this area of shopping for herself last because the children come first.

 

2.     New TV

I would buy a small TV for my workplace alias “kitchen” so I wouldn’t feel lonely when I wash the pans and dishes while they head back to their own rooms after dinner.

3.     2^nd Car and a Driver

A 2^nd car can allow me to attend all school activities from start to finish.  With a car and a driver, I won’t have to bug my husband to bring the kids and I around the city.

4.     Buy some “ME” Time

I can think of many ways to spend money for some “me” time.  But my top 2 would be to travel alone and be able to visit a big bookstore and have the giddy feeling of anticipation of being able to buy the books that catches my fancy.

5.     King Size Bed

A bed big enough to provide enough room without violating my husband’s personal space since I like to read, write, and blog before I retire at night.

6.     Modernize Libraries  in Tarlac

Make new books readily available to all.  A library that serves as a venue to host training seminars for students and educators.

          As you can see, simple pleasures consists my list on how I want to spend my 1M guilt free.  Ultimately, mothers should take a break and think of ways to recharge even if it means answering random questions from Facebook with deep thoughts and reflections.  Who knows, you and I might get lucky and be featured in the next DBTI Newsletter.

Ali is turning 13!

Happy 13th. Birthday Ali!

          Everyday in my preteen daughter’s life, I am faced with never ending concerns. From explaining the changes that goes with puberty, the need for modest dressing, and of the importance of good manners that can MAKE or BREAK her interactions with the people around them. 

          So whether Ali is at home, in school, in a mall, on the phone or with her friends, she is faced with choices that affect her relationships. My eldest daughter Ali will be turning thirteen on May 12 and I know that when she entered high school last year, I needed to double time my efforts in instilling good manners.  Ali’s bubbly personality and her goofy sense of humor had to be toned down a bit as to avoid appearing too childlike.  She needed to mend her speech to remain her composure in new and unfamiliar situations.  She had to be mindful of her appearance so she can carry herself with confidence.  These things are not to encourage a change of personality but instead to develop Ali’s self-esteem, social skills, and to enhance her over all image and personality.

          Being armed with good manners and etiquette does not come naturally for teens.  They have to be introduced, taught, and practiced in a daily basis until it becomes second nature to them. What used to be taught constantly at home and in preschool, and then expected in grade school are considered plain common sense when they reach high school. But I believe minding their manners should not be left to chance.  It can be a continuous process because as the teen grows older, their experiences become more complex.  These include new acquaintances, talking to the opposite sex, social networking and dating (wait till you are 18 sweetheart).  These are just some of the things my daughter Ali and other teens will inevitable experience.  So I want her to know what to expect, confidently face the challenges and enjoy her teen life.

          What does a mother do to comfort her worries?  I say, be involved.  Be present.  That’s what I do to so I can take every opportunity to share my wisdom.  I also give room for mistakes so she can learn from them.  It is a tough job but who else qualifies best for the position but a devoted mother.        Ali, Happy Birthday Sweetheart.  Welcome to teenage life.   

Secret Habits

They say, children are creatures of habit.  I say, we too dear parents are not exempted. Pretend that no one else would be reading this.  Here are some of those habits I would want to stop…. or at least minimize.

Indulge myself secretly with chocolates before a meal.  Sometimes, while I wash the dishes so kids (and hubby) would not see.  It is such a mood lifter for me.  I often feel so tired working in the kitchen all by myself.  A chocolate is my reward.

Make impulsive purchases on blouses or tops that fit perfectly on me… I actually buy them in all colors.  I only do this because it is not often that I find something comfortable, chic and that actually fits nicely on me.

In spite on our house rules regarding eating inside the bedroom, I still do eat my lunch there while watching T.V. whenever kids (and hubby) are out.  It’s quite boring to be alone in the dining table.  Besides, it’s the only time I can watch T.V. without interruptions.

I sometimes buy books and magazines which I hide inside my bag using the grocery money.  The kids and I love books.  I had to regulate our purchases because books cost so much now a days especially when you want a new one every weekend. So, I feel guilty when mommy buys and the kids can’t.  But I make sure to buy for them as well the next time.  It’s so heart warming sometimes when they offer to use their own money just to buy books.

I wonder if other moms have secret habits too.  I wonder what they are.  Am I alone on this?  I hope not.  It will just magnify my guilt.  Do I want to stop the habit?  Yes of course I do.  Writing about it openly makes me want to improve and practice self-control. These simple pleasures of mine shouldn’t be kept secret any longer.  The next time I crave for chocolates, I would share it with my daughter Ali…. even if it’s before a meal.

Hold My Hand

Baby no more...
Hope you make me hold you a little bit more
I promise to let go once your friends show up the door
I know I can not stop time from passing by so fast
So while no one else is looking this way
Let me hold your hand my son just a little bit more

Late Bloomer

     It was in the begining of our marriage (almost 13 years ago) that I developed an extraordinary interest with books.  I was in my late 30's and I find it unusual because I really never had the inclination for books while growing up.  It was through the influence of my sister-in-law Chari and my growing desire to read to my daughter Ali that I started to buy books.  It was a delight for me to receive books as gifts from Chari.  They were books on parenting and women empowerment.
     I didn't really grow up being surrounded by books.  I don't even remember owning a story book when I was a child.  I only had the text books that were used inside my classroom.  And because I was more intimidated with big words rather than ever being enthralled with stories, I stayed away from books.
     Today, I delight myself with every treasure hunt for books from the leading bookstore to the ones that sell second hand or in booksales.  It is through reading that I understand myself better.  I begun to put words and understanding to my feelings and experiences.  The fun part of it all is that at my young age of 42, I enjoy children's books and the cool teen books.  But what I mostly love are books that inspire me to be a better mom.  I am a sucker for those topics.  Aside from parenting books, I enjoy reading about women empowerment, manners and etiquette,true stories of courage and valour.  I devour myself with all that could develop myself intellectually, spiritually and socially.  I sometimes wonder why I didn't have this thirst for knowledge while I was still n school. Wish I could go back and bring with me the enthusiasm for learning.  Wow!  Maybe I could change the course of my life.  I feel I am such a late bloomer...  but God's timing is perfect.  With Him, not a day is wasted.  So, I celebrate my passion to learn everyday.  I believe that as a mom, I hold the greatest influence with my children.  I am just grateful that I can introduce them to books, to learning, to endless possibilities.