Monday, May 7, 2012

Ali is turning 13!

Happy 13th. Birthday Ali!

          Everyday in my preteen daughter’s life, I am faced with never ending concerns. From explaining the changes that goes with puberty, the need for modest dressing, and of the importance of good manners that can MAKE or BREAK her interactions with the people around them. 
          So whether Ali is at home, in school, in a mall, on the phone or with her friends, she is faced with choices that affect her relationships. My eldest daughter Ali will be turning thirteen on May 12 and I know that when she entered high school last year, I needed to double time my efforts in instilling good manners.  Ali’s bubbly personality and her goofy sense of humor had to be toned down a bit as to avoid appearing too childlike.  She needed to mend her speech to remain her composure in new and unfamiliar situations.  She had to be mindful of her appearance so she can carry herself with confidence.  These things are not to encourage a change of personality but instead to develop Ali’s self-esteem, social skills, and to enhance her over all image and personality.
          Being armed with good manners and etiquette does not come naturally for teens.  They have to be introduced, taught, and practiced in a daily basis until it becomes second nature to them. What used to be taught constantly at home and in preschool, and then expected in grade school are considered plain common sense when they reach high school. But I believe minding their manners should not be left to chance.  It can be a continuous process because as the teen grows older, their experiences become more complex.  These include new acquaintances, talking to the opposite sex, social networking and dating (wait till you are 18 sweetheart).  These are just some of the things my daughter Ali and other teens will inevitable experience.  So I want her to know what to expect, confidently face the challenges and enjoy her teen life.
          What does a mother do to comfort her worries?  I say, be involved.  Be present.  That’s what I do to so I can take every opportunity to share my wisdom.  I also give room for mistakes so she can learn from them.  It is a tough job but who else qualifies best for the position but a devoted mother.        Ali, Happy Birthday Sweetheart.  Welcome to teenage life.   

2 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday Ali!

    Ana, how far we've come, no? I wish you all the grace and discernment when it comes to raising and guiding your new teenager. It still feels like yesterday when we were that young. And, oh, the stuff we did!

    The one thing that I have made sure to do with my own child (although she's just 10) is be as honest as possible with her about everything she might be curious about. I'm hoping that when it comes to the "bigger" questions, she'll feel comfortable enough to ask me and get know she's getting the truth.

    Good luck, Ana!

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  2. Thanks Mieke.

    Yes, the stuff we did. Hahahaha!

    I guess the reason why I'm so over eager to teach her so many things is because they really grow up so fast. Ali is turning 13 and going to be second year high school already.
    By 15, she wil be grauduating HS. College by 16... hah! Too soon. That's the problem because I sent her to school when she just turned 3. Anyway, honesty is really the key. No use to sugar coat anything. Well of course, it has to be age appropriate. What's the name of your daughter? Tell me about her...

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